As so many of my fellow unemployed friends know, it’s hard to be thankful sometimes, and it’s oh-so-easy to sink into modes of anger, self pity, and depression as we are hit with bills, rejection and isolation during these seemingly endless months of unemployment. I find myself feeling these emotions on a daily basis, but today I want to give thanks, because, as miserable as I sometimes feel in these times if hardship I do have much to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my parents. Yes, I sometimes feel the edges of my sanity fading into oblivion as I spend countless hours sulking in my childhood bedroom, or watching movies at 10:00 am with my retired father. However, without my parents I would be stuck in a lease right now, draining my savings account, talking to myself as I slowly loose my mind from lack of human contact. They were kind enough to see that though none of us would choose this living arrangement, I needed a place to stay while I looked for a job. I needed a place to store my things, a place that I could up and leave at the drop of a hat if I somehow found work out of state. This temporary living situation is making things more manageable for me. And so, though it is not always ideal, it’s the most financially responsible thing to do right now and I am so thankful that they (now empty nesters) were willing to allow me back into their home… for an indefinite period of time. And they sometimes feed me.

I am thankful for my friends. These last twenty-five weeks would have been agony without the great friends I have in my life. Thank you for the random phone calls, the emails saying hello, for getting together and sharing a meal, for spontaneous nights out on the town, and for trips to Miami… these events are my reminders of what’s important in life. Thank you for understanding what I am going through, and if you really don’t understand at all… thank you for at least trying, and for not judging me. Without you (my friends) I would be lost.

I am thankful to be a part of my Goddaughter’s life. I’m not the “mothering” type, but being actively engaged in her life is more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. I love seeing her grow, change and learn new things. When she calls me up and says, “I love you Auntie Chap,” I just melt. And she motivates me, in her own way, to find work so that I can open an education savings account!!

I am thankful that I’m single. GASP… did she just say that? Yes. I did. Don’t get me wrong; I have my moments, in which I miss having a partner, or long to meet someone new. Especially after I go to see New Moon and watch half-clothed young hotties romp around the wilderness. But, for more than just the obvious reasons (that my close friends know and understand), I am thankful to be on my own right now. Being unemployed is stressful, and as many of you know, puts stress on ALL of your relationships. I am thankful I don’t have to put this stress on my partner. I can sulk and hate my life in peace, and I can be rejected time and time again without having to worry about my partner asking me why, or failing to understand how hard it is right now to find work.

I am thankful for television. Okay, seriously, does this deserve to be on the list? Absolutely! What got me through my breakup this year? Watching Weeds. What got me through feeling completely isolated as I was living on a farm in the middle of nowhere? Watching Dexter (for 12 hours straight). Right now I have been watching old Gilmore Girls episodes… and they make me laugh. And that is a GOOD thing. It may sound cheesy, but these moments of preoccupation really help me. I’m not an athlete, who would maybe turn to jogging or something. Yoga can only do so much. I don’t really feel justified in taking up a new hobby (because it costs money), so I am thankful for television. And anyone who has known me for a long time will not be surprised by these sentiments at all!

I am thankful I have legs (Chap, that one’s for you).

So my dear friends, even if you feel like you have nothing, you probably have SOMETHING to be thankful for. So, go forth, give thanks, and eat Turkey (unless you are a vegetarian like myself).

Happy Thanksgiving!

There are certain purchases I like to refer to as, budget busters. There are things that you stop buying when you loose your job and you have no money. You let your hair grow out, stop waxing your stache, wear your disposable contacts for two months rather than two weeks and none of your clothes fit anymore because you have been living on ALDI cake mix (see below). However, I have learned a few tricks over the last several months on how to save money on some of these items or services.

For Food:

1. Double Coupon Day!!! I recently discovered that Pick N Save has a double coupon day on Wednesdays. This means that any coupon you bring in counts twice. Last week I saved $12.00 using only clipped coupons. It seems that many grocery establishments have a similar promotion, so ask your local store.
2. ALDI. The concept makes sense. No cart boys, no plastic bags (you must bring your own bags, which is sustainable as well), limited cashiers and no fancy displays. A box of cake mix costs 89 cents. Now, don’t go living off ALDI cake mix, but 89 can’t be beat!
3. Restaurant.com. For those of us who like to dine out (that is an understatement for me), this site is great. I can’t say I have taken full advantage of it yet, but certainly intent to.

For Beauty:

1. Think about students! I recently had the opportunity to be a hair model for an apprentice. She cut and colored my hair for… wait for it… FIVE dollars. These services at the salon where I was “modeling” would normally cost over $130.00 and so I was thrilled. Now, when you work with a student there is always that chance your hair wont turn out the way you want, but for someone who is unemployed… it might be worth the risk! There are also student prices at some salons, where you only pay $10 bucks for an eyebrow wax or $15.00 for a pedicure, so check out your local cosmetology schools.
2. Samples. I know it sounds cheesy, but if you are in need of new perfume or eye shadow, ask for a sample. At the department stores there are bags filled with little 1 oz perfume samples, and I know my Mary Kay rep gives out sample color palettes that include eye shadow and blush.

Contacts

1. 1800contacts. I recently learned that when buying contacts online, 1800contacts will match any competitive price you find. So, google your brand of contact and see what comes up. Last time I saved $48.00 by doing this.

Clothes

1. Wait for the coupon. There are many stores that offer HUGE discounts like “spend $75.00 and save $30.00,” and so essentially you get more stuff for less money. New York and Company does this ALL the time, so keep your eyes open.
2. Swap it! When my friend lost 20 lbs, I got to take all of her old pants. Not that I am proud of getting her “before-the-weight-loss-pants,” but they look great on me, and were free! Case in point, when I lost a bunch of weight several years ago, I gave all my old clothes to my mom. Need a new outfit? Ask a friend. Something doesn’t fit… give it away.

I hope these tips were somewhat helpful, and please share your own money saving ideas below!

This is the view from the balcony of my friend’s high-rise apartment building. Need I say more? No? Well, I will anyway. This apartment is paid for, fully furnished and in MIAMI. It’s provided as part of a fellowship program in which the participants travel around the country working on various projects and learning about the company they work for.

So while I live here:

The fellows live here:

Again… need I say more?

I think no one (especially my parents or high school guidance counselors) ever looked at my high school report card. Had they ever done so, they would have noticed an A in chemistry, an A in physics, and an A in pre-calculus. Perhaps these grades would have indicated an aptitude for engineering? I don’t know. I suppose the A+ in Advanced Placement English and Art History may have overshadowed my math and science classes. And shit… would I have listened to anyone at that point in my life anyway? I had wanted to be an artist since I was six years old, remember?

Alas, we cannot dwell on the past (though I was doing so the entire weekend and still am at this very moment). I have decided to try and focus on what’s ahead. My weekend in Florida was refreshing and stimulating and certainly has me contemplating my future… as an ENGINEER. Just kidding (sort of).

Some final reflections:

Perhaps a Southern relocation is in order. I mean, 84 degrees in November, with sun on your back and the Ocean at your feet. Wow. Does it get better than that?

I really love to travel. Anyone who knows me, know this, but each time I visit a new place I am reminded of its importance in my life. And I can’t travel without money. And I can’t make money without a JOB. But why not find a job (like my engineering friends) that will allow me to travel?

I discovered that Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the funniest show ever (this new-found favorite is thanks to a four hour marathon Sunday night). AND I’m in love with Charlie.

Everyone must experience the drive from Miami to Key West at least once in their lifetime. It’s the most beautiful three hours in a car you can ask for (if you’re not crammed in the back seat of a micro van, that is).

Okay, enough of my random thoughts on the awesomeness of Florida. What I have learned this week is that, perhaps I need to think bigger when it comes to making my next career move. Or go back to school for the third time…

Well, I managed to come down with a teeny, tiny cold this past week. Aside from causing me to miss two (fabulous, I’m sure) Halloween parties, it didn’t do too much physical damage. However, because of this cold, my “week” off turned into a week and a half. My friends, when you over extend your vacation from job searching a few things start to happen.

1. You watch way too much Law and Order. By the end of the week, I started thinking I wanted to be a cop. I mean, I like solving puzzles, so why not? Fighting crime could be fulfilling… for a designer?
2. You forget to talk to people. I wasn’t emailing or calling potential employers or contacts (the nasal voice would have frightened them, I’m sure), and so I stopped calling the rest of my network. Thank goodness for my parents (yes, I actually said that) or I may have forgotten how to speak entirely!
3. You start to dwell. The lack of human contact and the misery of illness can cause a person to succumb to negative thoughts. I’m a looser, I live with my parents, I’ll never find a job…etc. This is BAD, very bad, and sometimes it happens without your consent.

By Sunday night I felt much better (in spite of the Packers loss to the Vikings)… and I realized I was going to have to get back on the job search wagon come Monday. I was depressed, and negative, and didn’t want to do that AT ALL. But I had scheduled an appointment for first thing Monday morning…

And you know what, people? My meeting was fantastic (despite a brain crushing headache and an initial lack of motivation at 7 am). The interaction inspired me, not only on a professional level but on a personal level as well. I met and talked with a successful, smart and professional woman who was willing to share her experiences and insights with me. She gave me advice, and the whole interaction reminded me how important these one-on-one meetings really are in the process of searching for that dream job. And so, I felt rejuvenated, and also made it to a much-neglected networking group that very afternoon.

Tuesday rolled around and I headed to another meeting with yet another fabulous, successful and sharp woman who introduced me to her industry, shared with me some great stories about her career journey and offered me her own advice and suggestions.

I had somehow managed to tackle both my sniffles and my struggles, and dive headfirst back into the job search. Week 21 ended with several new contacts in my notebook, new ideas, inspirations and goals for next week (and of course, many new resumes sent out). What I learned, was that only I can fight back against the negativity. I have to force myself out there, and look at my search as objectively as I can. This is exceedingly difficult (don’t get me wrong), but as I learned this week, it can be done.

On another note, it’s time for me to share with you, my virtual friends, the final art piece I have since donated to the Feed Your Soul event (see week 18). Local readers, come this Friday and bid on some artwork to help feed the Hungry in Milwaukee!!

This last week was uneventful, hence why I am so behind on my weekly blog post. I had a birthday, which was pretty low-key (as it should be when you’re single, unemployed, near 30 and living with your parents). And I had decided long ago to take this week off, in order to decompress, relax and celebrate (or lament about) being yet another year older.

So a week passed with little drama and absolutely no progress on the job search; however, I did find myself thinking a lot about camaraderie, as I found myself surrounded by great friends both new and old, both physical and virtual.

Being unemployed is hard. There are often feelings of shame, embarrassment, regret… etc. associated with the label. Often, when I am networking or with large groups of people also looking for work I forget these feelings. But at unexpected moments they creep into my psyche, and it is terrible.

As I was enjoying some fabulous falafel at a great Milwaukee restaurant last week, I found myself to be the only one at the table still not working. Former coworkers surrounded me. Some who had never left the company, some that left willingly and moved on to bigger and better things, and one who, like myself, is still looking for work. But she, unlike me, is working part-time, as a designer. She is out there. She is getting a paycheck.  I love my friends and would be lost without them, but those moments are difficult. And in those moments I turn to…blogs.

No seriously folks, I do. I read the testimonials of other people out there, people who appear  talented, capable, and smart. Each day I discover someone else who is going through this recession “with” me.

Last week, I enjoyed the company of wonderful long-time friends as we celebrated my birthday. And I also enjoyed the company of wonderful “virtual” friends who, though unknowingly, help me on a daily basis through this whole ugly process of searching, applying, recovering from rejection and grasping at straws.

So, thank you to all.

Over the weekend, while I was diving face first into a delightful cheese and mushroom omelet at one of my favorite breakfast establishments (which in this case, shall remain unnamed), I bit down on something… foreign. To my utter dismay, I looked down and found a stick in my omelet. Really, I have no idea if it was an actual stick, you know, that somehow found its way of the forest floor and into my eggy treat, but it was thin, hard, brown and crunchy. It looked like a stick. So, I am calling it a stick.

Oh the trauma! The delightful meal was tainted, and I could hardly continue on my breakfast journey. They took the eggs away and I swallowed my last bits of waffle and sticky bun with trepidation!

And so the tone was set for the week ahead, where I continued to eat sticks, more metaphorically than literally, but they were sticks nonetheless.

The first stick was not really my stick, per say, but it affected me just the same. An associate of mine was offered a job this week, and oh how excited we were! It was a position pretty much made for him, with opportunities for growth, benefits and a steady paycheck. It was no longer in his field of expertise, but he was happy about that as well. It was everything he, and we, had been hoping for. And then, he told me about the salary. The stick. The 20,000-less-than-what-he-was-making-before… stick. Unlike my omelet, it’s not like he could just send the offer back to the kitchen and ask for a new one.

“Excuse me, ma’am, there is a stick in my job-offer.”

Alas, the feelings of achievement, excitement and relief where sadly overshadowed by the harsh reality of him not being able to pay the bills with this new salary. Now instead of enjoying this success with a happy heart, my friend had to make some hard decisions regarding his financial stability.

The second stick was much more subtle, and much less crunchy. My former colleague and dear, dear friend Julie #1 (read her blog here: icedcoffee) got a job! Yay! After seven months of searching, blogging, tweeting, and developing a pretty serious coffee addiction, she is now employed! And this is a good thing in every way, except that I will miss having my friend available at all hours of the day and night to hang with, lament about unemployment with and attend networking events with. So the stick invading this metaphorical omelet is purely my selfish desire to keep her around all the time. And so I am ignoring the stick and gobbling up this omelet because I am so happy for her, hopeful for all of us left in unemployment bliss, and more than willing to feel lonely as long as it means her success.

The third stick came just this morning as I realized that people are often clueless… Um, oops. I mean people are often unaware (hope that sounds more PC), of the economic situation at hand.

I had forwarded a resume of a “talented management professional with extensive inside sales and customer service experience in a call center environment,” to a person I know who works in management. I had asked him to review the resume, provide some feedback and let me know if he had a position available within his organization. He called me almost immediately and said her resume was impressive and she would certainly be a good fit for his company. But then, he asked me something like this:

“So she just doesn’t need to work right now, or what is the deal, why is she still unemployed?”

First I answered calmly, though my blood was already starting to boil. What exactly did he mean, by “why is she still unemployed?”

He responded with something about how with her experience level it seems odd that she has such a large gap in her employment and wondered why she hasn’t just settled and taken something already, or is she waiting for the right thing and is just not really in need of a job.

Okay, where do I even start with this????

First: why should anyone have to settle? If she is experienced and talented, she has every right to try and find a job that meets her professional needs, whether it takes three months, six months or 12 months.

Second: who says she has even had the opportunity to “settle” on something. I have been off for nearly five months and have only had one interview. It’s a jungle out there and consider yourself lucky if you can get past the online application process.

Third: Is he living in a cave? How can he not be aware of the harsh job market out there and the millions of people out of work? It seems like such an asinine question to even ask… “why is she still unemployed?” Perhaps it has something to do with the lack of jobs, abundance of talented professionals and dire economic circumstances out there.

So I was a bit irate, as you can tell, and ended the conversation with “honey, you need to wake up.” Good thing he and I have a history and me saying something like that is pretty par for the course.

Unfortunately this stick, the crunchy ignorance of my friend, is a common stick these days.

Hopefully this week, as I celebrate not only my dear friend Julie’s new job, but my own Birthday, over a fabulous brunch and some Bloody Mary’s, I will not find any sticks in my Omelet.

Literally, or Metaphorically!

When I was six years old (and in first grade) we had a “get to know you” day at school. Each student had to stand up in front of the class and talk about her favorite food, favorite color and, among other things, what she wanted to be when she grew up.

Do you know what I said that day? I bet you are thinking I told them all I wanted to build cubicles, right? Or perhaps, I said I wanted to be an “architect,” or “designer.”

Well, no. In fact, I told the class I wanted to be… an artist.

And when I was ten years old, my Grandmother, a professional writer, sent me my first journal as a birthday present, I decided I also wanted to be a writer, just like her.

Through the years, my favorite color is still blue, my favorite food is still enchiladas, and these two passions of mine, the visual arts and the literary arts, have never left me. I am an artist. I am a writer. And I know quite a bit about office furniture now, as well (which I just know will come in handy again someday)!

Last week I was fixated on the uninvited prospect of giving up my career, but this week I was given the opportunity to remember why I even fell into that career in the first place. That opportunity, my friends, was, and is: Feed Your Soul.

This fantastic event, held in Milwaukee at Flux Design every year, gives artists the chance to create unique 2D and 3D works of art and simultaneously give back to the community. Each work is donated by the artist and is then auctioned off to raise money for Feeding America Eastern Wisconsin.

This year I decided I wanted to create a multimedia piece that chronicled my unemployment “adventures,” and in the process I experienced a re-awakening of my artistic ability. For so long I have been working hard, focusing on my career, dreaming about AutoCAD and CAP while at the same time attending school, reading Shakespeare and writing research papers. I estimate that it has been at least four, if not more, years since I have even picked up a pencil to sketch, let alone paint!

I had almost forgotten how much I loved to create. And damn did working on this project feel GREAT!

Not that I wouldn’t trade painting all day for a steady job, steady paycheck and a place of my own… but this week, for the first time in a while, I forgot about how much unemployment can get a girl down and I remembered how to feel inspired.

Feed Your Soul managed to feed MY Soul.

Now, all you Milwaukeeans out there make sure to attend the event, buy some art and donate to a good cause! If you want a teaser, here you go:

All my unemployment souvenirs...

The overlay begins...

Umbrella?

Come to event on November 6th to see the final product!

I started thinking over the weekend, as I hiked through Peninsula State Park, that I might have to say goodbye to my career as a commercial interior designer. For good.

It’s a sad thing, and even though I have been pursuing marketing jobs, PR jobs, editing jobs, and various writing gigs, somewhere deep inside, I still held on to the hope that I would remain in the design and construction industry. I guess I’ve been skating around the issue, pretending that I don’t have to choose another path. But, alas… there is the distinct possibility that my job, as Blue Skies consultant Jayne Holland said to me this week, “is not coming back.”

The reality of this has finally started to sink in (a mere 17 weeks after my job loss) as I watch others in my field turn to flipping houses and managing finances. As indifferent as I’ve felt these last several weeks about leaving the world of cubicles and ergonomics, the fact that my options have been decided for me by the global economy, is frustrating.

How I did love making fun of my own industry. How I laughed when I had to tell people: “I design cubicles.” How I will miss teal and mauve carpet, bright orange office partitions, and four star chair bases (watch out, they are unstable).

It’s hard to envision a world without the term BBF. Or a world with:

No more AutoCAD.

No more ugly offices to fix.

No more carpet samples (egads, what shall I do)?

I do jest a bit, but still—it was my career. My profession. Almost ten years of schooling, training and experience had made me an expert. And I was GOOD, perhaps even GREAT at my job. To leave that all behind makes me a bit sad.

Now I’m faced with yet another problem (in addition to all those associated with searching for a new position in this economy); if my job is not coming back in any way, shape or form… then what do I want to do and who do I want to be as a professional?

What is next?

In the early years of my journey as an interior designer, I was allowed to select some paint colors for my parent’s house. They were such encouraging and supportive parents (see week 15) who subsequently gave me free reign with the design. Keep in mind that this was back in the days when Trading Spacing was a huge break-out hit, and I hadn’t yet enrolled in design school. As you might imagine, the result was… bright.

Very bright.

My younger brother, who was around 17 years old when the house was revamped, told me after the painting was complete, “It’s like a crack-head Christmas in here.” At the time I was offended. I mean, what is wrong with watermelon red and lime green paint in one room? Nothing, I suppose, if you exist inside Alice’s looking glass. Or, if you know how to put those two colors together in a less obtrusive manner. But, I did not yet know how to do that.

This Monday I moved back in with my parents (oh how I love being unemployed and single). My superhuman, and super hot, moving men from Hernia Movers (Milwaukee) did a phenomenal job, but the first thing one of them said to me as he entered the front door to my Hartland abode was… “wow, bright colors.”

Duh.

It’s all slightly embarrassing to my oh-so-older and wiser veteran commercial interior design self, who loves her shades of grey. But there is a lesson here… I think?

Don’t paint your parent’s house lime green because you might have to move back in someday?

No, I think it is something more like: We definitely learn and grow as professionals. And education is super important!

So, here I sit within the walls of my inexperience. But you know what, it’s okay. My parents still love it. As long as the client is happy, right?

I am a child of the 80’s and with that comes a few things…

1. I love the Goonies (including cast members Sean Astin and Corey Feldman).
2. I have fond memories of Care Bears, My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake, She-Ra, He-Man, ThunderCats and Transformers. (The list could go on, but I will spare you).
3. I missed the Gen-X timeslot by one year and therefore I am… (ominous background music here) a Millennial.

I have been thinking a lot about Millennials and the bad rap they (we) have gotten over the last several years. As the generation that came after X, born after 1980, we seem to be constantly fighting against… something.

There are entire power point presentations devoted to dealing with “us” within the workforce. In my networking group this week we discussed age discrimination. Apparently, according to experts, someone my age will always look at someone older as a parent figure during the interview process, and subsequently hire a younger candidate. My question is this: do you really mean to tell me that I am not looked at like a child during the interview process? Maybe I remind you of your daughter… maybe I remind you of yourself at my age? Whatever the circumstances are, age discrimination always works both ways and it is unfortunate regardless.

I often hear we have this unwarranted sense of entitlement, that Millennials feel they are owed respect, good money and fair treatment. I can’t exactly argue with those statements, but I also don’t think these are such deplorable traits to have either. And, my friends, neither do you…whether you’re a Boomer, Gen-Xer or fellow Millennial. I say this because I attended a presentation this week given by a woman who proceeded to tell all of us that we need to be passionate about what we do, that doing what you love will make you great at your job, and that we all deserve to succeed in our careers.

I wonder… did everyone in that room drink the Kool-Aid she was serving? Because if so, then you are all starting to think, and potentially act, like the abominable Millennial I am. These are ideas have been ingrained in my psyche since childhood. Maybe it was Reagan’s fault, or perhaps my parents, teachers, the media, my brother and sisters? Who knows. But I have always felt it… that I was “special.” That I would succeed as long as I was passionate about what I was doing. I could challenge anyone and be treated fairly no matter if I lacked 20 years of experience. As long as I could do the job as well or better than my coworkers, I deserved as much or more money… right?

Apparently not.

And yet, those of you who look down on the younger generation now want to embrace our ideals.

It’s just such an interesting conundrum to me, who has started to embrace the ideals of the generations that came before me in order to survive! But embrace and believe are two different things. No matter how jaded I become, or how discouraged I am, or how hard I work with no reward… I am still a Millennial. So I persevere. I believe that I will succeed.

“Goonies never say die,” and neither do we.

Some interesting articles on Millennials in the workplace (oh the horror)!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/kyarrow

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/08/60minutes/main3475200.shtml

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Y