This week I had three phone interviews, and since I’ve realized that there are some definite pros to being interviewed over the phone, as well as some definite cons. Let me make a list for you.

The pros:

You can interview in your pajamas. The pressure of having the right outfit, or making sure your gray hairs are concealed, is automatically lifted. Ultimately, you can concentrate on knocking the interviewer’s socks off with your clever answers rather than whether or not your shirt is freshly ironed.

You are able to have all your resources right in front of you. I often sit at my desk and make sure that my portfolio, my resume and the job posting are all open and ready for me to reference as I’m talking.

A phone interview gives you the opportunity to scope out the company culture or pay scale just by asking a few intelligent questions. You can find out a bit more about what kind of company you would potentially be working for without having to burn any fossil fuels.

The cons:

There are distractions in the home that could interfere with your interview. For example, my father runs an engraving shop in the basement of our house and on the day of my first phone interview he was beveling. This process is loud and quite literally shakes the entire house. I had to run downstairs and let him know when the interview was scheduled to start so he didn’t start working on that machine right in the middle of my phone conversation. So, whether it is engraving machines, children, Facebook messages or the UPS man making a delivery, you must watch out for these distracting encounters while in the middle of your phone interview.

Your conversation could become TOO casual. Yes, the pressure of face-to-face interaction has been lifted, however while interviewing over the phone, you often run the risk of slipping into a conversational pattern fit to be had with your sister, best friend or spouse versus a potential employer. Last week, I caught myself answering some questions by saying, “totally!” Not good.

As long as you don’t chomp on chips, chat on Facebook and watch Law and Order while having a phone interview, this encounter can only be a positive experience. I’ve found that phone interviews allow me to shine, because I’m comfortable (in my pajamas) and I’m able to reference projects and documents I might not be able to access if I were sitting in someone’s office. I just need to remember that “totally” is not an appropriate answer to any interview question.

It’s the coldest month of the year in Wisconsin, and I’m already feeling like I have cabin fever. Normally this “illness” starts later in the year, but due to my lack of employment, lack of money, and lack of personal space it has hit me hard. So, amidst planning what I hope is a non-imaginary trip to Hawaii in March, I tried to find some fun and inexpensive activities I could put on my (and your) to-do list for the rest of winter. Here is what I came up with:

1. Free cross-country ski rental and lessons are held every Tuesday night at 7:00 pm at Lapham Peak State Park. Not that I WANT to be out in this frigid weather anymore than necessary, but it is something new, different, fun and FREE to try. Once I actually do so, I’ll let you know how it goes.

2. Attend Iron cupcake Milwaukee. This is a competition I had heard rumblings about several months ago and never really researched until this past week. For $7.00 you can get in the door to taste and judge a variety of mini-cupcakes baked around a certain ingredient that changes every month. This month’s ingredient is BACON. Now, since I’m a vegetarian, I suppose I will have to wait another month to attend, but for all you bacon lovers out there February 15 is your special day! For more information:   http://www.ironcupcakemilwaukee.com/

3. Join the Café Centraal Beer club. Not only is this a fun activity for those of us who love beer and like to drink (pretty much everyone in this city), but also it’s cheap. On Wednesday nights there is half priced tap beers for any beer club cardholder as well as free appetizers such as cheese, bread, dip and veggies. As you sample all the beers Café Centraal has to offer, you can win prizes. I have been a member since this summer and haven’t gotten very far on my list. I hope to change that very soon! http://www.thecafecentraal.com/

4. Take a tour of Growing Power, an organization that is gaining huge recognition as a leader in urban farming. For $10.00, the jaunt through their greenhouses will warm you up and their mission will inspire you. http://growingpower.org/

5. Sign up for the Marcus Theatres Spotlight Movie Club. They will email you when there are special features offered on Wednesday and Thursday nights that you can see for $5.00.

6. Go see some art! If you are a Milwaukee County resident you can get into the Art Museum for free on Wednesdays.

7. Go see a play at the Milwaukee Rep. If you are under 40 you get a special discount (I think this is to encourage younger people to embrace live theater, but I still find it funny). The price and available seating for this discount is different for each play but in the past the price has usually been around $10.00 – $15.00 http://www.milwaukeerep.com/

8. Warm up with a run around the track at the Petit National Ice center. Now, I hate running, however this is a great idea for those of you who want to get fit, can’t afford a gym membership, and don’t want to do any outdoor winter sports. The cost is just $4.00 for a day. If you would rather go ice skating, then fork up $7.00 bucks and you’re all set! http://www.thepettit.com/index.htm

So, these are my findings, my dear fellow Wisconsinites. For those of you in far away warmer places, perhaps you could volunteer your home as a retreat for us weary, jobless, cold-weather dwellers? If not, now you know of some interesting things to do here in our fine city.

I welcome more ideas from my readers, as always!

I really hate this part.

The waiting.

Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I absolutely hate waiting. I have a great friend who suffers from a syndrome I like to call chronic late-itis. For a while there, I started telling her to be places about a half hour before she really needed to show up, so I could ensure that no one (especially me) had to wait. Now, when she’s running behind she’ll often call me up and say, “Please tell me this is one of those times you said 3:00 but really meant 3:30.”

I hate waiting for a boy to call. Usually I just track him down and call him first, which I know breaks all the dating rules put forth by the geniuses that wrote He’s Just Not That Into You, and could explain why I’m still single. There was one incident in which I called someone repeatedly for approximately eight hours, so tired was I of waiting to receive a call back. Granted the circumstances were extenuating (like not knowing if said someone was alive or dead in a ditch somewhere), but still, even I can see that this kind of behavior was excessive.

In general, the past year has been one giant waiting game. First I was waiting for the layoff to happen. Now I wait for a phone call telling me to come in for an interview, or I wait for a rejection letter to arrive in my inbox. I wait for someone to let me know whether or not I’m still in the running for a position I have interviewed for. I just wait…all the time.

I recently went through the interview process with three very different companies for three very different positions. All of them are good options for me. All of them afford me different opportunities. And I am waiting to hear back… from all of them.

And since I have never been very good at waiting (see above examples) I handle this by… not waiting. I keep interviewing. I keep searching, networking, reaching out to and setting up coffee dates with interesting new people. I apply for more jobs. I do yoga. I teach myself Indesign. I look at my GRE book and think about studying (though I haven’t actually been able to open it yet).

I suppose all of this waiting will eventually make me a more patient person, right? And that would be a very good thing.

Ninety-nine versions of my resume on the wall. Ninety-nine versions of my resuuuumeeeee. Take one down, pass it around, 98 versions of my resume on the wall.

As you can imagine, my friends, this song means that today I hit number 99 on my work search record. I have applied for 99 jobs since June 10, 2009. I have revised my resume more than a dozen times, wrote several different versions of my cover letter, which I in-turn tweaked 99 times.

In honor of this momentous event I have elected to highlight some of the more “interesting” positions I have applied for.

7. Sent resume and cover letter to the John Michael Kohler Center for the Arts for a copywriter/editor/proofreader position and misused the word LEAD four times in my resume. Needless to say I did NOT get a call institution from that to come in for an interview.

45. Inquired about freelance opportunities with Alcoholmanac Magazine (a magazine entirely devoted to drinking in Milwaukee)

71. Applied for the WPP Fellowship; an elite marketing fellowship that lasts for three years and exposes their fellows to companies all over the world. There is nothing funny about this one other than they take only ten people out of 2,000 and I somehow thought I would be one of them.

78. Applied to be an Assistant Marketing Operations Director – at Potowatomi Bingo and Casino. Bring on the gambling!

91. Applied online to be a Library Assistant at ITT Technical Institute. Because I know so much about information technology!

Though I have tried for almost any job my two degrees and six years of work experience would qualify me for, applying for 99 jobs in 31 weeks has taught me quite a bit about myself.

I know what I absolutely DON’T want to do for a living. I know that it’s okay to try something new and get out of your comfort zone. I know that I have a lot of useless knowledge about office furniture that I may never use again, and I’m okay with that (since it will make great material for my first novel). I know that I don’t need a glamorous career, just one that will challenge me everyday and give me some sense of purpose.

Here’s to lucky number 100!

Well it’s 2010 and I have consciously decided to make no New Year’s resolutions. I think, quite frankly, that I have enough on my plate right now to work towards achieving.

Finding a job

Losing the unemployment weight

Getting out of my parents’ house

Discovering my true path in life (okay, I know this is asking a lot, but I really have to Figure out what I want to be when I grow up at SOME point)

Anyway, the list is a lengthy one and so I’m not putting any more pressure on myself to accomplish all these goals in 2010. I am just plugging along. Tightening my resolve.

The Holiday season always gets me thinking about my good friend, Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge. For a multitude of reasons, which I will spare you here on this blog, I’m not a huge fan of the Holidays. In fact I’m sitting here typing this post in my oversized, kelly-green, Grinch T-shirt. It was a gift (of course), given to me because I’m a known naysayer of holiday cheer.

This past week I was sandwiched between Christmas and New Years, waiting anxiously for it all to be over and many a time I thought to myself, “Bah, humbug.” Then, shamefully, I realized that I had no idea what the word “humbug” even meant. So, like any smart gal would, I googled it.

In my search for the meaning of humbug I stumbled across an interesting writer named Austine Cline. Let me quote him here:

“The phrase ‘Bah, humbug’ is today connected solely to Christmas due to Charles Dickens’ character Scrooge, and most people think it represents a general denunciation of others’ having a good time. The word humbug actually means “something intended to deceive, a fraud; an impostor; nonsense, rubbish; pretense, deception.” This word has value, which should be reclaimed…”

After reading the entirety of his article I experienced an awakening of sorts. Of course I’m a Scrooge during the Holiday Season, because I’m a Scrooge in all of life, and this is NOT a bad thing!

I have always been that person who questions any pretense, who tends to call out a bunch of rubbish when I see it, and I don’t do well with deception. Accusing something of being “humbug” can be healthy. It means that you are asking questions, and not blindly accepting something for what it is without digging deeper.

In my work this tendency to ask questions always made me a better designer, a better writer, a better listener and a better problem solver. If a client requested 78” high panels I was always going to ask why, because I knew from experience that an open work environment would be a healthier solution for the employees. If someone wanted to dispose of hundreds of cubicles I was always going to suggest scrapping the steel, not only to save space in our over-stuffed landfills, but also to put a few extra dollars back in my client’s pocket.

Of course, it’s important to find a balance between seeing the rubbish and actually calling it rubbish, or appearing to be a know-it-all because you feel your solution makes the most sense. This is something openly admit I’m constantly working on. In spite of the negative connotations associated with being a constant Ebenezer Scrooge in life, this is an integral part of what makes me… me. Sniffing out “humbug.” Skepticism, and having this inquisitive nature is why I love being a student and learning news things (too bad I can’t get paid to go to school for the rest of my life).

My trip to Washington, DC left me feeling a bit like Dorothy after she was whisked over the rainbow and into the Land of Oz. It was a whirlwind three days filled with new friends, new experiences, and a lot of snow.

The trip started out with a strange but wonderful encounter. Somehow the fates had aligned, and another Julie (also 28 and jobless) who I follow in the blogosphere had an interview that very same day in Maryland. Our flights arrived at BWI around the same time and so we took the opportunity to meet in person. She was kind enough to excuse my un-made up appearance and we shared a salad and some lovely conversation about being unemployed, moving across the country, and the pressures of interviewing after such a long hiatus.

That first evening, as I headed down to the hotel lounge for some grub, I noticed many strange creatures wearing red and gold. Turns out, FedEx field, the home turf of the Washington Redskins, is only a mile away from the hotel where I was staying. And the place was packed full of footballs fans going to the game that Monday night, some drunk, and some on the way to being drunk. One guy was even wearing a packer hat, for no apparent reason, but it made me feel a bit more at home amongst the crowd. As I mowed down on a tasty grilled cheese and some fries (the vegetarian menu options were scarce) I was happy to be surrounded by such frenzy. Too bad the Redskins lost 12-45.

Day two involved braving the Metro (which was wonderfully easy) and meeting another friendly stranger, Mindy Klasky, a writer and the daughter of a friend of my fabulous Aunt Liz. She took me to a pizzeria where I indulged myself by eating some of the yummiest margarita pizza I have ever consumed. We talked about living in Washington, DC, being a writer, career changes, and other various topics. Then she offered me some advice on what to see and do for the rest of the afternoon, and I was on my way. In two days I had met two successful and fabulous women, both who inspire me… and both who gave me some great advice.

Per Mindy’s suggestions I hit the Smithsonian after lunch and managed to wander through the Natural History Museum, where I was slightly disturbed by all the “stuffed” animals, but impressed with the exhibits. I even saw the famous Hope diamond, which though I am not a jewelry fanatic, was pretty cool. In fact, the whole gemstones section of the museum was probably the highlight, so check it out if you ever have the opportunity. Then I ran over to the American History Museum to see Dorothy’s ruby slippers, Kermit the frog and Julia Child’s kitchen.

So now, let’s take a moment to talk about the snow. Walking from the train to the Smithsonian (or anywhere in DC for that matter) was insane. Days after the snow had fallen, the streets were still a mess, paths were still not cleared around the national monuments and the schools were still closed. Yes, that’s right my fellow Midwesterners, school was closed, not during the storm but three days later, when the sky was blue and the temperatures were in the 40’s. I laughed, as I trekked through puddles and sheets of ice to get a good view of the Capital, and I laughed when I was driving to my interview and all of a sudden the right lane disappeared and turned into a snow bank. In Wisconsin, the day after a storm comes, school is in session, the roads are clear and life is totally back to normal. And I bragged about this fact over and over again throughout my three-day stay in the District, and boy was I forced to eat my words…

Wednesday arrived, and after a nice holiday lunch with the designers I could potentially be working with, I headed to the airport. It was the day before Christmas Eve day, and let me just state for the record that I vow never to fly on, or around, Christmas ever again. The security lines were infinite, people were missing their flights left and right, tears were being shed, food was being devoured in a slightly animalistic fashion (right in the security line). One good thing about witnessing this whole debacle we call “Holiday travel” was that it definitely reinforced my disdain for this time of year.

We boarded the plane late, due to travelers trying to make connections, or people trying to get on the flight because they had already missed connections. It was smooth sailing, until I noticed we had been flying in circles for about an hour. This ends up being due to a broken plow (or so they told us) on the ground at the Milwaukee airport. So we turned the plane around and landed in Flint Michigan. Where is Flint, you ask (funny, I asked the same thing)? It’s north and west of Detroit, just so you know. Anyways, there we sat for another hour or so, with non-functioning bathrooms, until we re-fueled and tried to head for Milwaukee again.

Meanwhile I, and my very cute seatmate, are texting our families to try and find out how bad the weather is. My mom responds that it’s not bad, just a little slush. His brother says he is watching planes land at Mitchell International and the snow is light. So my seatmate and I are irritated, and suspicious of why we couldn’t land in the first place.

Now folks, here is the bad thing about being from the Midwest. If a snowstorm isn’t a blizzard of epic proportions you tend to think of it as “slush.” So when our plane finally did land I was shocked that we could even get on the ground with so much slow flying through the air. I decide at that point to forgive our captain, and thank him (silently) for getting us home safe in such bad weather.

I then drove a terrifying 26 miles from the airport to my parent’s house, through completely unplowed roads. This was about the point I started eating my words. You know, all that bragging I managed to do out East about how our plows are out right away, and that the drivers know what they are doing. Um, I don’t think I saw one plow on my entire life-altering drive home from the airport.

I can say, however, that all is well today. The streets are clear and life is back to normal. But wow, I am still recovering from several hours on a plane, three days in the snow, too much time spent with drunk football fans, and meeting a myriad of new people. This Dorothy is glad to be back in Kansas… I mean Milwaukee.

I know, I know. You’re all wondering what happened to week 26. Well, quite frankly my friends, week 26 was a dud. Nothing bad happened, nothing good happened, nothing really happened at all aside from a small blizzard and the local temperatures dropping below zero.  So we are moving on.

This week I had my first interview since, let’s just say, a long time ago (not counting several phone interviews). I won’t talk much about the actual interview, but I will discuss one particular question I was asked. The question: Tell me where you see yourself in five years, and then ten years.

This question, though a great question for an interviewer to ask, is very difficult for me to answer right now. And I’m sure most of my fellow unemployeds would agree with me. It’s difficult to see five years down the road when a person has no point of reference. The best analogy I can come up with is fishing (now, I am not a fisherwoman, so bear with me). You can’t cast your line if you are not standing near (or in) a body of water. I mean you could cast your line anywhere, I guess, but if you’re standing in the woods that line will get caught in a tree or something.

So right now, I don’t know where I will be standing and so I can’t cast my line. Right now, my only goals are to find a job that will fulfill my professional needs and to move into my own place. At that point, since I will be standing at the edge of the river (so-to-speak) I plan to set goals.

Then how did I answer the question? Okay, first of all, I laughed. Yes. Really. However, let’s back up a moment before you all shun my interviewing skills. My interviewer and I had spoken on the phone about this very same topic two days ago and at that point we had both agreed it was hard to set goals when you have been unemployed for an extended period of time. So, when she asked again, I laughed, and she laughed, and then I shared with her where I hoped to be in the next five years, and then ten years. And it all sounded great, and it was all true… but I am not standing in the appropriate place to cast my fishing line and so, in truth, whatever I said to her is ultimately meaningless in the larger scheme of things.

Next week I will be traveling to Washington DC for an interview. I’m excited, and nervous and wondering if they two will ask me this question, and if they do… the answer will be completely different and yet the same. It is a different position, in a different city, affording me different opportunities. I am standing near a totally different river and so I will be casting my line in a different direction. And yet, I still have no true point of reference.

I wonder what any of my readers think about this. If you’re currently unemployed, do you still have a five-year plan? Do you know where you want to be in five years or ten years on a professional level?

Please share!

Barbie's Cookies

Follow a 71-year-old retiree; his unemployed daughter and recently unemployed wife as they try to survive another Wisconsin winter huddled together in a 1,200 square foot home in the middle of suburbia. Watch them as they fight about the setting of the thermostat, who gets to park in the garage and whether or not the should watch So You Think You Can Dance or NCIS on Tuesday evenings.

Doesn’t this sound like a fabulous new reality TV show? No? You think you might die of boredom watching this? Well, I agree with you. And guess what? This is MY life. That’s right, folks, as week 26 came to a close my mother lost her job. So here I am, living with my parents at the ripe old age of 28 in order to save some money and maintain some level of flexibility in my job search, and now it seems like not only does this help me, but my additional contributions may help them as well. And this would all be quite karmic and all that, aside from that fact that we may all kill each other by the time this ends.

My mom needs to adjust to being home all day. If she doesn’t stop baking cookies every day I WILL gain 10 MORE pounds (adding to the 10 lbs already gained do to my unemployment depression binges).

My dad needs to adjust to having her home all day (he just got used to my presence in his daily routine, now he needs to account for yet another person)

I need to adjust to having both of them here, ALL THE TIME, with my only refuge a tiny 10X10 room, and a small coffee shop down the street (I suppose I could go to the library…)

We all need to adjust to the fact that this may go on for a pretty significant length of time.

America needs to adjust to the fact that there are three people in this house, living solely off the government, and only one of them is doing so by choice. I mean, it’s actually quite funny if you have any kind of a sense of humor. None of us are working. How is this possible???!!! And I won’t go into all of the qualifications the three of us possess, but they are vast and extremely impressive.

So that is that. I smell cookies…. Mmmmm.

As so many of my fellow unemployed friends know, it’s hard to be thankful sometimes, and it’s oh-so-easy to sink into modes of anger, self pity, and depression as we are hit with bills, rejection and isolation during these seemingly endless months of unemployment. I find myself feeling these emotions on a daily basis, but today I want to give thanks, because, as miserable as I sometimes feel in these times if hardship I do have much to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my parents. Yes, I sometimes feel the edges of my sanity fading into oblivion as I spend countless hours sulking in my childhood bedroom, or watching movies at 10:00 am with my retired father. However, without my parents I would be stuck in a lease right now, draining my savings account, talking to myself as I slowly lose my mind from lack of human contact. They were kind enough to see that though none of us would choose this living arrangement, I needed a place to stay while I looked for a job. I needed a place to store my things, a place that I could up and leave at the drop of a hat if I somehow found work out of state. This temporary living situation is making things more manageable for me. And so, though it is not always ideal, it’s the most financially responsible thing to do right now and I am so thankful that they (now empty nesters) were willing to allow me back into their home… for an indefinite period of time. And they sometimes feed me.

I am thankful for my friends. These last twenty-five weeks would have been agony without the great friends I have in my life. Thank you for the random phone calls, the emails saying hello, for getting together and sharing a meal, for spontaneous nights out on the town, and for trips to Miami… these events are my reminders of what’s important in life. Thank you for understanding what I am going through, and if you really don’t understand at all… thank you for at least trying, and for not judging me. Without you (my friends) I would be lost.

I am thankful to be a part of my Goddaughter’s life. I’m not the “mothering” type, but being actively engaged in her life is more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. I love seeing her grow, change and learn new things. When she calls me up and says, “I love you Auntie Chap,” I just melt. And she motivates me, in her own way, to find work so that I can open an education savings account!!

I am thankful that I’m single. GASP… did she just say that? Yes. I did. Don’t get me wrong; I have my moments, in which I miss having a partner, or long to meet someone new. Especially after I go to see New Moon and watch half-clothed young hotties romp around the wilderness. But, for more than just the obvious reasons (that my close friends know and understand), I am thankful to be on my own right now. Being unemployed is stressful, and as many of you know, puts stress on ALL of your relationships. I am thankful I don’t have to put this stress on my partner. I can sulk and hate my life in peace, and I can be rejected time and time again without having to worry about my partner asking me why, or failing to understand how hard it is right now to find work.

I am thankful for television. Okay, seriously, does this deserve to be on the list? Absolutely! What got me through my breakup this year? Watching Weeds. What got me through feeling completely isolated as I was living on a farm in the middle of nowhere? Watching Dexter (for 12 hours straight). Right now I have been watching old Gilmore Girls episodes… and they make me laugh. And that is a GOOD thing. It may sound cheesy, but these moments of preoccupation really help me. I’m not an athlete, who would maybe turn to jogging or something. Yoga can only do so much. I don’t really feel justified in taking up a new hobby (because it costs money), so I am thankful for television. And anyone who has known me for a long time will not be surprised by these sentiments at all!

I am thankful I have legs (Chap, that one’s for you).

So my dear friends, even if you feel like you have nothing, you probably have SOMETHING to be thankful for. So, go forth, give thanks, and eat Turkey (unless you are a vegetarian like myself).

Happy Thanksgiving!